“How to Make Friends and Influence People” did not prepare me for the world in which I’d be living in. Granted, reading the pages and learning how strangers may or may not think has been fruitful in an educational sense, but the book itself does not have legs to walk around with me as I take up space in busy meeting rooms, conferences, or event spaces.
In a world where you’re meant to make conversation and create influence, can you gulp the unknown to make space for new beginnings?
You can if you introduce yourself.
“But Franziska, I already knew that. I don’t want to be reminded of something I know I’m already supposed to do. I need to know how to do it.”
The best answers to the most difficult questions are usually the simplest ones. That’s where I’ll start and that’s where I’ll leave you.
An added layer to networking and building relationships is the personal aspect that comes with them. For years, educators and careerists have been working to create formulas around building a deeper connection and expanding your reach. But just like personal finance, personal relationships are just that – personal.
You can and you should continue to lean into new opportunities to meet people and get yourself out there. At the same time, you should also understand at what stage you’ve reached your maximum potential of those occasions.
Let me give you an example.
A few years ago, I was invited to pre-game to one of Hollywood’s entertainment programs. I hadn’t ‘peopled’ in a while and was excited to meet new friends and enjoy an afternoon away from work and responsibilities.
I was having an off-day and felt great about getting myself ready to meet friends at the event.
And then I arrived.
As soon as I entered the venue, I felt overwhelmed and thrown off by the busy groups and overall feeling. It wasn’t that there wasn’t a fun party going on, it was that I felt awkward and didn’t belong.
It didn’t make it easier when I tried to get the attention of the bartender to get a drink and stood there for 20 minutes.
The crowd was friendly with themselves but not strangers and my friends were stuck in LA traffic. I stayed for an hour, trying to introduce myself and meet people without feeling like too much of a stand-out and then I just left.
No, thank you.
Putting yourself out there is something to be proud of and it does not mean that you have to continue torturing yourself if it doesn’t feel right.
Take killer selfies and leave.
Nobody has to know.